


The Search for Spock

by liionne



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, IT'S ALL CRACK, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, The Hangover AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 03:45:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liionne/pseuds/liionne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones, Jim and Scotty lose Spock when they take him to Las Vegas for his bachelor party. And they find out, when trying to find him, that a lot of shit went down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Search for Spock

When Jim woke in the morning, his head was spinning, he was pretty close to throwing up, and he was pretty sure he was naked. Lifting the sheet up, he let it fall back to his body and gave a small nod. Definitely naked. He groaned, deciding it was best to jut go back to sleep and try to remain unconscious during the rest of his hangover. He rolled over, and totally would’ve went back to sleep-

-If he hadn’t rolled onto another body.

Okay so that wasn’t the surprise. The surprise came when he opened his eyes to see the familiar mop of brown hair, freckle-spattered tan skin and angry looking mouth.

He shrieked, scrambling to his feet and knocking the blanket as he did, grabbing a cushion to cover himself up. So he was naked in bed with Bones. Which would have been fine, if Bones wasn’t naked too.

And maybe Jim had been waiting for this moment for the past four years of his life, but he seriously couldn’t remember anything that had gone on the night before. Not even _this_. It wasn’t the romantic first time he’d been hoping for.

It was too damn early for this shit and his head was absolutely banging, but he wriggled into a pair of jeans anyway and decided to go and get a glass of water. He was only half way to the kitchen when Scotty slammed the bathroom door, breathing hard and looking more than a little panicked.

“Jesus, Scotty can you put some pants on?” Jim frowned, trying to keep his gaze away from Scotty’s junk.

“There’s a sehlat in the bathroom!” He cried.

“Will everyone shut up? It’s damn early for all of this. God damn it.” Leonard mumbled, not once lifting his head from the pillow.

“There is a fucking _sehlat_ in the fucking _bathroom_. And it's hungry!” Scotty yelled again, as if Jim hadn’t heard him the first time.

“Scotty, pants, please.” Jim prompted, looking away and walking to the kitchen. “And Bones, you too. Cover up, I swear to God.” Looking around the room, Jim frowned. “Where’s Spock?”

Nobody gave him an answer. Bones was a little more willing to pull on a pair of jeans he found at the foot of the bed - well, it was a duvet on the floor of the living room space, but whatever - and then rooted around for a t-shirt. Scotty was still pinned to the bathroom door; he made no move to cover up.

“Shelat can’t use doors, Scotty, you can leave to go and find a pair of pants.” Jim muttered, scowling as he took a drink of water.

And then he realised what he’d just said.

“A sehlat!?”

“Aye Captain.” Scotty nodded. “You might want to take a look.”

“Jesus Christ, Monty, pants.” Bones muttered, pulling a t-shirt over his head and scowling at the engineer.

“Aye, right.” Scotty nodded, only moving when Jim - with his eyes on the ceiling - took a hold of the door handle.

“Oh my god.” He muttered, opening the door. There really was a sehlat in there. And it was less like a teddy bear, and more like an _actual_ bear. It paced the length of the room, and stopped only to snarl at Jim.

He shut the door and winced.

“What the hell did we _do_ last night?” He muttered, leaning against the door and pinching the bridge of his nose. “And where the hell is Spock?”

“I wish I knew.” Bones muttered, stealing Jim’s water seeing as he was on the other side of the room.

“So we’ve lost Spock. God damn it.” Jim muttered, throwing his head into his hands. Uhura was going to kill him. Or castrate him, which would most definitely be worse.

“Woah, Jim. You were in the hospital last night.” Scotty marvelled, pulling on a pair of trousers.

Jim looked over to him, thankful that he’d covered up. “Wait, you can remember last night?”

“Nah, you’re wearing a hospital tag.” He explained, and both Jim and Bones looked to his wrist. And Scotty was right - there it was, a little paper bracelet, reading: Desert Springs Hospital.

“Damn it, why am I even surprised?” Bones muttered, scowling at him.

Jim sighed a little. “Maybe they’ll know what happened last night. C’mon. We’re going.”

Bones muttered something about stupid careless asshole and followed Jim out of the apartment. Scotty tugged grabbed his jacket, his wallet, and his cigarettes, and scurried out of the room.

~*~

“Ugh, _you_.”

Nurse Chapel grimaced from behind her desk when the three of them leaned against it, and they all exchanged confused glances.

“Look, can you tell us why we were in here last night? And did we have another guy with us? Y‘know, uh, bowl cut, shiny fringe, weird eyebrows?” Jim asked, over the desk at the Nurse. “We can’t remember a thing and-”

“Of course you can’t remember a thing, you’d been roofied.” She rolled her eyes, signing some form and passing it to a nurse next to her.

“Roofied?” Jim asked.

Scotty looked a little pale.

“Someone slipped us Rohypnol.” Bones explained.

“And the other guy, was here there?” Jim asked.

“Yeah, he was here. And totally high.“ Chapel just pursed her lips at them, completely judging them, before turning back to her work.

“Do you have any idea where we came from last night? Or where we were going?” Jim asked.

“You asked for directions to Caesar’s Palace, so I assume you were going there.” She said. “And he-” She pointed to Bones. “-had the address for Lil Chapel O’ Love of his arm, so I guess you went there too.”

“Bones?”

Bones held his arm out, and sure enough, there it was. The address scrawled in looped, curled hand writing, most definitely female, although it was a little smudged from- well, Jim knew what from. Or he assumed he knew. His cheeks reddened a bit at the thought, and he shook his head a little.

“We should go. C’mon guys. Thanks.” he said to the Nurse, who just pursed her lips.

“Just don’t come back here, alright?”

~*~

“Jim, I can’t believe you got married last night. Damn it.” Bones muttered, frowning out at the road as they drove to the chapel.

“How do you know it was me?” Jim scowled. “It could’ve been you. Or Scotty.”

Bones snorted. “I wouldn’t do something that irresponsible, not when I love Joss so much-”

Jim snorted. Bones just frowned at him.

“- and we’d have to drug someone to marry Scotty.”

“Hey!” he cried from the back seat.

“Who’s to say we didn’t.” Jim muttered, as they pulled in to a crummy, cracked car park leading up to a white-washed building with a pink door and pink shutters. It looked run down, beat up, and Jim was pretty sure that any wedding that went on in there wasn’t entirely legal.

When they walked in, there were pictures up of past weddings - apparently every single bride and groom in the place were absolutely shitfaced. Which really didn’t surprise anyone.

They went up to a little window with a small shelf outside; behind it sat a guy who really couldn’t have been more seventeen, a registry book open in front of him as he twirled a curl around his finger.

“Uh, hi?” Jim asked, looking from the kid to Bones to Scotty and back again.

The kid looked up, and beamed. “You again!” He smiled. “Glad to see you back so soon.”

“We’re not here for another wedding-” Jim began, and the kid’s face fell a little, but he was still smiling. “We just wanted to ask what happened here last night.”

“You can’t remember?” He asked.

They shook their heads. The kid gave a small, knowing smile. “Must have been a good reception. I’ll show you the photographs, they should have been developed by now.”

He came out of a little door by the side window, and let them all into the ‘office’. There was a printer at the back, just finishing printing out a photo. The kid - Pavel, apparently, from the Employee of the Month photo - held it up for them.

“See! It was a good ceremony.” He smiled, handing it over to them.

“Jesus Christ in a hand basket.” Bones muttered, as Jim and Scotty leaned over to see the photograph.

“Bones! You got married!”

If the photo was anything to go to he had. Jim was stood on the edge, looking as if he might puke; Scotty was stood on the other edge, also looking as if he might puke; Spock stood with an arm around Scotty, chocolate smeared up the side of his mouth and a weird grin on his face; and in the middle stood the happy couple - a petite looking woman with cropped blonde hair who looked like she was mid-’woo’, and Bones, with his arm around her waist, clutching one of her boobs.

“Well shit.” Bones muttered. “Can you remember the name of the bride?”

“Who was his best man?” Jim asked excitedly, even if he was feeling just a little dejected that Bones had apparently married some woman and not him, and then proceeded to fuck him back at the hotel room.

“You were.” Chekov answered.

Jim beamed.

“The name of the bride, please.” Bones practically hissed.

“Her name was Carol. I have her address if you need it-”

“Yes, please.” Bones snapped, and Chekov gave a worried look before scurrying over to his computer.

“So Spock was with us then.” Scotty mused. “And you’re not wearing your hospital bracelet, so it must’ve been before the hospital.”

“So Spock was with us the whole night.” Jim muttered, as Chekov came over with a slip of paper.

“Here,” He said, handing the address to Bones, who snatched it angrily.

“Thanks.” Bones muttered. “let’s go.”

“I’m gonna keep the picture!” Scotty cried, as he tried to catch up with Bones and his long legs as they sped out of the Chapel. “I’ll frame it for you first wedding anniversary!”

They only got one foot outside when the landscape erupted, and bullets riddled the side of the chapel, blowing out the windows of the car.

“Jesus christ!” Jim yelled, ducking for cover behind the car and pulling his friends with him. They watched as a car sped away into the distance, leaving a trail of dust behind it.

“This is the god damn worse day of my _life_.” Bones muttered, leaning his head back against the window.

~*~

Bones knocked angrily on the door. He growled a little as he waited, until a high-pitched voice with an English accent called, “Just a minute!”

“At least she’s pretty.” Scotty shrugged, tucking the photo into his back pocket.

“Shut up.” Bones snapped, as the door was pulled open.

“Hey, you.” Carol smiled, pulling Bones in to kiss him.

Jim scowled. He scowled hard.

“I wondered where you’d gotten to last night.” She smirked, when Bones looked a little bewildered. Jim continued to scowl. “Come on in.”

When he went in, he noticed his ring, the ring he always wore on his little finger, now adorning her ring finger. He groaned internally.

“Take a seat, I’ll get us all a drink.” She smiled.

They sat down in the living room, on a crummy looking sofa facing a TV. On the news was a story about Caesar’s Palace being trashed; there was a mattress impaled on a statue, and a couple of windows had been broken. Jim was pretty sure they’d done it.

“She has my ring.” Bones hissed, watching her back as she pottered around in the kitchen.

“Which ring?” Scotty asked.

Bones scowled at him. “The only ring I wear, asshole. The one on my little finger. The holocaust ring.”

“The holocaust ring?” Jim raised an eyebrow.

“Yes the Holocaust ring.” Bones hissed. “My great great grandma his it inside of her spleen throughout the whole of the god damn Holocaust and now _she_ has it.”

“Here we are.” Carol sang, putting a tray of glasses down on the table in front of them. She pulled a chair over to sit opposite them all, smiling.

None of them took a drink. The silence was heavier than Jim’s glare.

“Look, Carol, I’m real sorry, but I don’t remember a thing about last night-” Bones began, but she cut him off.

“I didn’t think you would.” She smiled. “You were all absolutely rat-arsed.”

“So… why did you go through with it?” Bones asked.

She shrugged. “I was pretty pissed too.”

“Right.” He muttered, looking down at his lap. Jim continued to glare. Scotty was watching the news. “So, uh, where did we meet?”

“At the club.” Carol nodded. “Where I work.”

“The club?” Bones asked.

“Mm.” She nodded. “The Horse. You don’t even remember that?”

“No-” Bones began again, only to be cut off by Jim this time.

“Wait, that’s a strip club.” He said. “You’re a stripper?”

She nodded. Again, Bones groaned internally. Jocelyn really was going to kill him.

“Bones, we really need to go.” Jim murmured. “Spock’s still missing, and-”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” Bones muttered. He stood, and everyone stood with him. “Carol, we really need to talk, so uh, I’ll be back later.”

“Sure.” She nodded. “Good luck finding your friend.”

They just nodded as they left the apartment.

~*~

In a random car park a half a mile away, Bones was having a melt down.

“Joss is gonna kill me. Hell, my _mom_ is gonna kill me. And my dad might actually come back from the dead to make sure I’m really gone. Oh my God. Christ all fucking mighty. I got married. I married a stripper. I married a whore!-”

“Hey, she was a nice lady!” Scotty frowned at him.

“-I’m going to have to get it annulled, and Joss’ll find out, and she’ll probably castrate me or tie me up in the basement or both. This could not get any fucking worse oh my go-”

“Lads, I drugged us.” Scotty admitted.

“You what!?” Jim and Bones screeched in unison.

“I thought it was ecstasy.” Scotty shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Bones muttered. “You’re _sorry_!? God damn it you asshole you’ve ruined the whole god damn vacation! Spock’s gone, I’m married, Jim was in the _hospital_ -”

There was a banging from the boot that stopped him from whining for a moment.

Carefully, cautiously, Scotty lifted the lid.

A bald and most definitely naked guy with face tattoos jumped out, hit Scotty in the back with a crow bar, and ran for freedom.

Bones just sighed. “Take me back to the room, Jim. Take me back.”

~*~

Bones’ plan involved falling into his bed and going to sleep while Jim worried over where the hell Spock was and what he was going to tell Uhura, but of course, that never happened. Because when they opened the door, there were two security guards dressed in black standing behind their couch, and a man sat on it.

“Woah.” Jim marvelled. “Christopher Pike!”

“Yeah, yeah it’s me, sit down.” He waved his hand at the sofa opposite him.

They did as they were told; no one was going to argue with Chris Pike.

“Lets keep this short, boys. You have my sehlat. I want it back. I don’t care how you get it back to my house, but I want it back before the end of the night. And it’s already getting dark, so I suggest you hurry.”

He stood, and he left, followed by his two security guards. Jim buried his head in his hands, and Bones groaned. Scotty was already hatching a plan.

“That sehlat’s fucking rabid, man.” Jim groaned. “How’re we gonna get it in the car?”

“I say we drug it.” Scotty said.

“What?” Bones asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I still have some roofies left. We could put some in a steak and toss it in there.”

“…That might just work.” Jim nodded.

Bones would have argued, but it wasn’t like he had a better idea.

“Jim, I think you should do.” Bones said.

“Why!?” Jim shrieked.

“You’re the captain.” He explained.

Scotty shrugged. “Cannae argue with that, Jim.”

Jim growled a little. Ten minutes later he was in the bathroom with a roofie-riddled steak, holding it out to a growling sehlat.

“Come on, beary,” He said, waving it around. “Get the steak.”

It took one step towards him, and Jim shrieked, throwing it onto the ground and leaving the room.

“Did it eat it?” Bones asked.

“Yeah.” Jim nodded. Lie. “Yeah it did.”

“Give it five minutes, it’ll be out.” Scotty said.

And then a whole fifteen minutes later they were in the car, bundled into the front with the sehlat in the back, snoring a little in its sleep. They didn’t need directions to Chris Pike’s house - it was the biggest damn house in the whole of Las Vegas.

It was nearly dark when they pulled up to the drive, waiting to be let in. Bones was sure he could hear a growling noise from the back, but he didn’t say anything.

Not until the bear stuck it’s nose through the gap in the seats, anyway.

“Oh my god!”

“Get it away, get it away!”

“It’s ripping open the seats!”

“It has my neck, oh my god, it has my neck!”

“Get out, get out!”

They fell out of the car, Jim clutching at his neck. The claws had barely broken the skin, but it still hurt. They shut the doors, leaving the sehlat to growl angrily as the gates to the mansion opened.

“Bones, kiss my owie.” Jim pouted.

“How the hell are we going to get back in the car?” Bones asked, pointedly ignoring him.

“We’ll have to push it.” Scotty shrugged.

Sighing, they all got behind the car, pushing it up the drive to the mansion.

~*~

“Boys, get it out of there.” Pike ordered. A man with a dart gun shot the bear in the back leg, and the other two dragged it out. Bones, Jim and Scotty watched with their hands on their hips.

“Mr. Pike,” Jim began. “Was there another guy with us last night?”

“You mean the guy with the bowl cut?” Pike asked.

“Yeah, that one.” Jim nodded.

“Yeah.” Pike sighed. “It was his idea to steal it, I watched the tapes.”

“Oh.” Jim murmured. Damn was he going to tease Spock about this later. “Well, thanks. I guess.”

With the bear now safely removed from the car, they got back in. Jim was about to put it in reverse when Pike put a hand on the side of the car. “And boys,” He said, before they pulled away. “Don’t let me see you here ever again.”

Jim gulped. “You got it.”

He pulled away, driving back to the hotel in the fading light.

~*~

“Uhura is actually going to kill me.” Jim sighed. “The wedding is tomorrow. We’ve re not gonna make it back. And we still don’t even know where Spock is. I just wish-”

He was cut off by a jeep hitting the side of their car, sending them flying across the motorway. Bones reached out to grip Jim’s knee, whilst Jim gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles. Scotty held onto is seat belt in the back, looking a little green around the edges.

Jim angrily undid his seat belt, storming out of the car. “What the hell asshole!?”

“You have my money!” A voice called. Jim frowned, as a blacked-out window rolled down to reveal a man with face tattoos and a bald head in an expensive looking Italian car.

“Hey, it’s the guy from the trunk.” Bones nudged Jim in the side.

“Yeah.” Jim murmured. “Wait, what money?”

“My money!” He scowled. “You stole $80,000 from me. And don’t lie to me - I’ve seen the security tapes, I know it was him.” He jabbed a finger at Scotty. Bones and Jim turned to scowl at him. “You messed with the wrong guy, assholes. Nobody messes with Nero!”

“Nero-” Jim said, looking to Bones and back to him. “We seriously have no idea where your money is, so uh-”

“You stole $80, 000 from me, and I want it back. Meet us at Sunrise Point two miles west of here at sunrise with the money, and I’ll give you your friend back.” He gave a sickly sweet smile, as Jim’s eyes widened.

“You have Spock!?”

Nero leaned forward to reveal a man with a sack over his head, struggling against his bonds.

“Spock!” they yelled, surging forward to try to reach him. Nero shook his head.

“Ah ah ah-” he smiled. “Give me the money, and you can have him.”

“And if we don’t?” Scotty asked.

“Then I’ll let you have his ear.” Nero smiled. The window rolled up, and he called, “Toodaloo motherfuckers!”

The car sped away, leaving them on the side of the road. “What the hell do we do now?” Jim asked.

“I can count cards.” Scotty said.

“What?” Bones asked.

“I can count cards. Did it all the time in Glasgow.” Scotty shrugged. “I say we get your wife-” Bones winced, as Scotty continued, “- use her as a distraction or something and let me win the money back.”

Jim looked to Bones. “It might work.” He shrugged.

Bones sighed. “Alright.” He said. “But I’ll blame you when we’re in jail.”

~*~

They didn’t go to jail. Although they did have to leave the casino with three security guards on their tail, but that didn’t matter. It was starting to get light again as they sped down the motorway to Sunrise Point, a bag full of $80 000 on the floor by Jim’s feet. They’d managed to win an extra $2000, which they’d probably end up using to bribe another mob boss for some reason. Jim couldn’t say it was unlikely.

As they pulled up to the barren wasteland that was Sunrise Peak, they saw three jeeps, all with men in black stood outside. Mr. Nero stood in the middle of them, and as they car rolled to a halt, he smiled.

“The money.” he demanded. Behind him, held by two security guards, was a guy in a tuxedo jacket, a bag covering his face and his hands behind his back. None of them called for Spock - they just threw the money at Nero’s feet.

He opened the bag, regarded its contents for a minute, and then brought Spock forward. “Alright gentlemen.” Nero said. “You can have your friend back.”

They pulled the bag from his head, and Jim expected to see Spock looking a little dazed and confused, maybe even emotional -

Just seeing Spock would’ve been good enough. Because this guy definitely wasn’t Spock.

“What the hell!?” Jim yelled. “This isn’t even him!”

The guy stumbled forward, and Scotty helped undo the rope around his wrists. Nero shrugged. “Whatever.” He got in the car, and as it sped away, he yelled, “So long, gay boys!”

Bones watched him go, and he sighed again. “Jim, the wedding’s in three hours. We’re not going to make it. Call Uhura.”

“Hey, this is the guy I bought the roofies from!” Scotty smiled.

“Get Asian Spock out of here-” Jim muttered, shaking his hand at him, shooing him.

Scotty helped him into the back car, saying, “How the hell did this happen, Sulu?” as Jim pulled out his cellphone.

He put his hand on his hip as he waited. She picked up, and snarled, “Jim Kirk where the hell are you!?”

“Uhura.” Jim sighed. “Listen. Don’t yell at me, just listen. We fucked up. Spock’s missing. We’re looking for him, but-”

“What do you mean he’s missing!?”

Bones got into the car, not wanting to hear them argue.

“I don’t know why the call them roofies, man.” Sulu mused. He sounded stoned. “They might put you on the roof to begin with-”

Bones’ eyes widened. He was having an epiphany.

“ -but damn do they bring you down after. They should be called floories.” Sulu finished, shrugging.

Bones launched himself out of the car, gripping Jim’s shoulders and shaking him.

“He’s on the roof!” he screamed, flushing a little with the sudden realisation. It finally made sense. The roofies, the mattress on the stature of their hotel room-It was them. Spock was on the roof.

Jim got it, too. He blinked a few times, before he grinned. “Uhura, I have to go.” he said, clicking the ‘end call’ button to a yell of “oh no you don’t Kirk you get back here-!”

The drove back to the hotel as quickly as they could, letting Sulu out along the way to stumble into town. They practically ran up to the roof, launching themselves past the mattress on the statue to a collection of beer bottles and chocolate wrappers, where they saw-

“Spock!” They yelled. Jim fell over his feet when he got too close, falling onto Spock and hugging him. Scotty hugged him too, and Bones might have pressed a delirious kiss to his stupidly sleek black fringe.

“Captain,” Spock said, his voice sounding a little shaky. “I am late for my wedding.”

“Yeah, yeah we know.” Jim nodded. “We’re gonna get you there, alright buddy? We’re gonna get you there.”

Jim noticed how glazed over Spock’s eyes were as they carried him down the stairs to the car outside. They put him in the back, throwing in the stuff they managed to salvage from their room.

Bones was about to get in the car when he saw Carol walking towards him.

“Bones, get in.” Jim demanded.

“Just give me two minutes.” He said, not waiting for Jim’s reply as he jogged over to her. Jim glared after him, watching them with a scowl.

“Carol, we have to go right now, but-”

“But you don’t want this.” She said, gesturing between the two of them. Maybe it was a good thing Bones was going to get the marriage annulled. She had a habit of interrupting him that he was starting to find annoying. “You should have this back.” She said, taking the ring from her finger and placing it in the palm of his hand.

“Thank you.” Bones nodded. He kissed her cheek with relief, and ran back to the car.

“Keep in touch!” Carol called after him.

He nodded as he got in the car. Jim was changing his shirt over to a nice, crisp white one, doing up the top button as Bones got in.

“Finally.” he muttered, driving away as he tried to do up a tie one-handed.

~*~

They made it to the wedding thirty minutes late.

They looked like a train wreck, and they smelled like an explosion in a brewery. Everyone winced as they walked past. “Let me talk to Uhura,” Jim said, but Spock shook his head.

“I’ll go.” he said.

The three nodded, and took the three empty seats on the front row. The people around them winced, and Jim rolled his eyes.

Bones caught Jocelyn’s gaze across the audience, and he winced.

“Nyota,” Spock began, as he stood in the doorway of her room.

“I don’t even want to _look_ at you right now!” She hissed, her head in her hands. “Leave me alone. Just leave.”

“Nyota, please.” Spock said, trying to be reasonable, taking a step forward.

“No, Spock!” She cried. “You were half an hour late. I stood at the alter for twenty minutes! I looked like an _idiot_ -”

“I did not mean for that to happen.” Spock said. Nyota glared as he took a step forward, placing his hand over hers. Her gaze softened in surprise, as he said, “Nyota, I love you. And if it were not obvious I wish to marry you. I apologise for making you wait. It is inexcusable. I understand if you wish to end our relationship here, but I still wish to marry you. I love you.”

It was the most emotion he’d shown in three years.

Nyota was blinking back tears as she nodded. “Alright. Alright, let’s do it.”

She stood, and wrapped her arms round his neck. Spock sighed a little, holding her close before leading her outside to the alter.

~*~

“I _knew_ you didn’t go to wine country.” Jocelyn hissed, smacking Leonard over the arm with her bag. “How _dare_ you lie to me!”

“Jocelyn, please, I-” Bones began, but she cut him off.

“You should have told me! _Why_ didn’t you tell me!? Are there any other secrets you’re keeping from me? Anything else I should know? Relationships are based on _trust_ Leonard, and-”

For once, finally, Leonard got to interrupt. “No, Joss! Relationships are based on _love_.” he yelled. Everyone was looking now. Scotty, who had been stood with them, look at his shoes. “And the only thing you love is oppressing me!”

“I do not _oppress_ you-”

“I had to lie to you to let me go to Vegas! You act like my god damn mom, not my girlfriend! You treat me like a fucking child, and I swear to Christ, Joss, I’m not having it anymore!” Leonard yelled. “We’re finished.” He stormed off in the other direction, and Scotty looked up at her.

“So, uh, now that you’re single, maybe we should go out for drinks tomorrow?” He offered.

She snarled a little. “Suck my dick.”

“No thank you.” Scotty murmured, shuffling away to get another drink.

“Guess what I just did!” Bones said, making his way over to Jim’s table.

Jim, looking away from the Chief Bridesmaid Gaila, who he was totally chatting up but whatever, answered, “What?”

“The wicked witch is dead.” He jerked a thumb behind him at a red-faced Jocelyn, and then leaned down to kiss Jim hard.

Jim might have melted a little into the seat as he brought Bones down to sit in his lap. Gaila giggled a little behind them.

“I fucking love you.” Bones said, when he pulled away.

Jim grinned. “I fucking love you too.”

~*~

It was nearing the end of the party now, with most of the friends and family having gone home. Bones was still sat in Jim’s lap, and they were sat talking to Spock when Scotty came over.

“Lads,” He said, pulling a camera from his pocket. “I’ve found the camera from last night.”

“What?” Jim asked, looking up at him.

“The camera.” Scotty repeated. “I was taking photos. We were taking photos.”

“Have you looked at them?” Bones asked.

Scotty shook his head.

“Perhaps we should look at them now. So that we know how much trouble we are really in.” Spock suggested.

Taking a deep breath, Jim nodded, and they stood to huddle around the camera. Scotty switched it on, and began to flick through the photos.

Bones covered his eyes with his hands, Scotty winced, and Spock turned a sickening shade of green.

“Oh my God.” Jim muttered, looking away from the camera. “Burn it. For the love of God, burn it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for any spelling mistakes. This literally took 3 hours, and I am way too tired now to check it.
> 
> As usual, prompts, ideas and/or requests are always welcome, either in the comments or at my tumblr.


End file.
